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    I am Qrystal, a physics grad student who enjoys writing: for herself, or to help other people learn things. When I am done my degree, I'll finally be able to allow myself to start following my desire to write and tutor and spread my joy of understanding physics.


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  • Eclipse epiphany, or lunar lunacy?

    Posted by Qrystal on February 20, 2008 at 23:36.
    Category: Life. Tags: 37, astronomy, motivation, progress, thesis.

    Lunar EclipseI stood there, gazing at the moon, unblinking in its oranged glow. I had a promise in mind, to myself and for myself. The idea had only sprouted barely an hour or so prior, and it was only getting more potent… and terrifying.

    But I believe it will work.

    I’m not superstitious by any means, but I do believe that beliefs make people stronger… or weaker. For example, only recently I had believed that I couldn’t shift my Thesis deadline back in time by three weeks, not to mention take away all the extra wiggle-room that I had built into the Plan I had made earlier today. I honestly believed that I simply couldn’t do it. And of course, with that attitude, I was right!

    Now I know that I am better off believing I can do what I put my mind to, and CHOOSING to put my mind to the ~earlier~ target date.

    So I promised to the totally eclipsed moon that I would GET THAT THESIS DONE by June 8, so we can go up camping at The Island, worry-free, free wheeling, free-spirited… Thesis-Free.

    I CAN DO THIS.

    And so I stood there, gazing at the moon, shadowed by the Earth. And I let the promise hang in the cold air; I held my breath so as not to disturb it or obscure it with mist/steam/…condensation, of whatever sort.

    Suddenly, it struck me: there was something I could give up in order to greatly assist my progress. Whether by not letting it eat up time, or by strengthening my resolve to finish by taking away something I like, it doesn’t matter. The effect is what’s important!

    It felt, at that moment, like I was agreeing on a “price” for my focused intent. If I agree to quit something specific that may be negatively affecting my progress, I will succeed.

    The more I thought about it, the more I was sure it’s what I have to do. To cement things even more, I walked into the house with this startling yet sensible idea in my head, and was greeted by the clock shining 10:37 at me. (I still haven’t explained the Thing with 37, but I will someday. Maybe.)

    I won’t write it down, but I know what I mean, and I will hold myself to it. (I may even enjoy the secrecy of it! Hmm!) If I catch myself seriously considering transgressing, I promise I will put a Sticky Note saying “Strike One” near the thing I’m resisting. Strike 2 would be if I catch myself considering transgressing a second time. Strike 3 is simply not gonna happen.

    I swear by th’ inconsistent (and beautiful) moon.

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